Afterthought
by starlight1395
Summary: You blamed yourself for what the other you did, and you had a plan to fix it all. Sans should be happy with your decision. After all, you killed his brother didn't you? So why did he stop you? Why did he take the knife away? You just wanted the pain to stop. You didn't anticipate him saving your life. Contains mentions of self-harm and suicide. Now multi-chapter
1. Chapter 1

"Sans, I can't take it anymore." You were tired. You were more than tired. You leaned on the threshold of the skeleton's kitchen, refusing to look at him. He was sitting on the couch, his back to you. The TV was off, but you could see a wisp of blue from the corner of your eye.

"Well what are you going to do about it?" His tone was serious, but you could almost see the grin still stretched painfully across his face. You wince and take a deep breath.

"I don't think you're going to like my idea." I could see his shoulder tense up.

"I know what you're thinking kiddo, and I don't find it very _humerus._ " His sad attempt at a pun usually got some kind of sympathy laugh from you, but not tonight. You made sure Papyrus had gone to Undyne's. You knew he couldn't handle it.

"I'm sorry Sans." Your eyes begin to burn. You couldn't stop the onslaught of memories. They had been coming back in your dreams, and they've been getting more and more detailed. You never understood why Sans acted the way he did around you, how he seemed to get colder when you were near Papyrus. You never understood the shaking in your hands when you were confronted by the different creatures.

Now you do. You realized you had a special power, the ability to start over, to _reset_ your adventure. Night after night of the atrocities you committed in a past run through haunt you, making you wake up in the middle of the night, your face ripped wide open in a silent scream.

You killed Pap. You killed Toriel. You _killed every last one of them._

 _ **And you liked it.**_

You wiped your eyes and tried to control your breathing. You knew this was the only way you would find any relief, and you _knew_ it was the only way poor Sans would get any closure.

"Tell Papyrus I'm sorry, and that he shouldn't worry."

"Now listen here kiddo-"

"Actually, tell him I just went on another adventure. He would believe that; don't tell him what I'm actually going to do. At least I can protect him this time around." You're words catch in your throat and you find it hard to finish your sentence.

"Stop this, right now." Sans dropped the lightheartedness in his voice. He knew what you were planning, knew what you meant by _this time around._ "That wasn't you. You didn't do anything to hurt my brother or anyone else."

"No Sans! It _was_ me! I was the one who decided to murder everyone! I was the one who _enjoyed it!_ I'm the reason you can't look me in the eyes without flinching!" Your voice grew louder and louder until you were shouting right in his face.

His grin never faltered, but you could have sworn his bones whitened a little more. He took a step back and shoved his hands in his pockets, looking down at his slippers. You gave him those slippers after everyone got settled down.

"No, it wasn't you. That's why I refuse to let you go through with this." You grasp the handle of the knife tightly, hiding it behind your back. You've been holding it for an hour, mentally preparing yourself for what you had to do.

"I'm sorry Sans." You take a step away from him, making sure your path to the door was clear. Before he could reach out for you, before you could see the pained frown taking the place of his usual grin, you ran. You couldn't stand being in the same room as him, knowing you were the reason he was being so serious. You hated serious Sans. You missed fun, punny Sans. You knew if you did this, the real Sans would come back.

You ran to the clearing just past their house and tripped over a snow-covered log. You fell to your knees, the knife cutting into your stomach slightly. You didn't notice the pain, but you did notice how the cold made the tear tracks move painfully down your cheeks. You've been thinking about this ever since you realized what you had done.

Sans would never be free, this whole _world_ would never be free until you finally went through with it.

You raised the knife and aimed it at your stomach, anticipating the next few short, painful moments. Just as the tip was about to pierce your stomach, it hit something hard.

Sans had threw his hand in between your stomach and the knife, the cold metal striking his boney palm.

"I won't let you do this."

"Sans leave me alone!" You knew this is what had to be done. He ripped the knife from your hand and threw it across the clearing. Kneeling down in front of you, he pulled you into his chest.

"Listen Kiddo, I know I'm not the most responsible skeleton, but I'm sure as hell not going to let you do that to yourself. I couldn't stand to have the house feel empty again. Pap would be deviated, as would Toriel and everyone else." You began to shiver violently in his arms, the cold of the air finally getting to you.

He releases you and unzips his jacket. Draping it over your shoulders, he helps you stand. You're frozen, emotionally and physically. You're numb, not quite comprehending what was happening. Why was he helping you? He of all people should be happy about your decision.

"Why?" You whisper, not trusting yourself to speak any louder.

"Because." He helped walk you back to the house, not taking his eyes off the path in front of you. Bitter tears make tracks down your face again, soaking the fur trimming of the jacket's hood. You walked in silence, afraid of what would happen if you tried to speak.

He opened the door for you, and walked you over to the couch. He gestured for you to stand for a moment and disappeared up the steps. A few minutes later he came back down with a pile of clothing. Without a word, he unzipped the jacket and placed it on the couch. He hesitated a moment, but he knew you wouldn't be able to change on your own. Your fingers were frozen, you couldn't move if your life depended on it, which it might if you didn't get warm soon.

He gently lifted your sweater above your head, being courteous and looked above your shoulder the whole time. He didn't mention the cuts on your arm, but you saw his perpetual grin tighten even more. He moved to take off your leggings, which were soaking the carpet as the frost melted off, but you managed to stop him. You could do that much.

The silence continued as he handed you a pair of sweatpants, obviously his, and a white t-shirt. Once you were mostly dry, you slipped the slightly damp jacket back on. Sans gently pushed on your shoulder to get you to sit on the couch. He pulled the blanket off the back of the couch and wrapped it around your shoulder before sitting next to you. You sat in silence for a moment before offering him some of the blanket. His smile softened and he moved closer to wrap the other half of the blanket around his boney shoulders.

"We need to talk about this, you know." You both sat, staring at the blank TV screen. You shook your head. "Well I've a _bone_ to pick with you."

"Why?" You repeated your question, not really expecting a real answer. He took your slightly warmer hand in his boney one under the blanket, and somehow his fingers were warm. You own hand quickly began to warm up.

"There's a lot to discuss. How about we start with your arm, huh?" His voice regained its airiness, but it was calculated.

"Sometimes, when I wake up at night, I… punish myself." You can feel your hands start shaking again, but not from the cold. Sans' hand tightens around yours. "I deserve it. I hurt everyone. I killed Papyrus. I killed _you._ I deserve the punishment." You spoke with such sincerity, and that scared Sans. His glowing irises went black, and you were afraid you mad him angry.

You remembered the last time you made him angry, like _really_ angry. One glowing blue eye, and a grin that would melt the skin off your frame in fear. It was right after you killed Papyrus.

"You don't."

"What?"

"Don't deserve it. You don't deserve to be punished." He took your arm and brought it above the blanket. He pushed up the sleeve if his jacket and inspected the wounds. Most were healed, but one of two were still red and puckered. He ran a boney finger down your skin, flinching when his finger caught on a raised line. "No one deserves this."

You shook your head and took your arm back, pulling the sleeve down and hid under the blanket again.

"How did you think killing yourself would make things better?"

"I just wanted the nightmares to stop. And you'd-" His shoulders tense violently. "You'd finally be able to live without to look at the person who murdered your brother every day."

It made sense in your head, but Sans didn't seem to understand.

"You think… I want you to die?" You didn't know how to answer at first.

"It would make things easier." He stood up and brushed the blanket off of him. He took a step away from the couch with his back to you. You saw a flicker of blue from his one side. He had tried to put his hands in his pockets, but remembered you were wearing his jacket. He clenched his fists and let out a low growl.

He hunched his shoulders slightly and placed his hands on the side of his head as if trying to stop a headache. He began to shake, and you started to worry. He began to shake harder, and you heard low chuckling. He laughed louder as his shaking grew more intense.

"Sans?" You were scared for your friend.

"You… you honestly thought…" He couldn't get out a full sentence. He whipped around and stared at you, his irises wide. Bluish tears were streaming from his face. His grin was no longer tight, nor was it soft. It was the kind of grin someone gives when they were about to snap.

"Sans…"

"You thought… I wanted you to die?" His voice went up at the end. He shook his head and covered his eyes. You stood, not knowing what to do. You wrapped your arms around him and held him as he shook.

You heard a light gasp, and you looked over at the door. Papyrus was standing in the doorframe, holding a Tupperware container of what looked like casserole. His face held no emotion.

"Brother?" His voice didn't have its usual volume, but then again e probably hasn't seem his brother cry before.

"Pap… what are you doing back so early?" You took a step back, but Sans stayed where he was, looking down at the ground. Papyrus studied the profile of his brother before answering.

"I had a bad feeling, so I came home as soon as I could." Sans gave a snort and lifted his head. The tears were gone, but his smile was anything but easy-going.

"You're such a good brother Pap. Why don't you put that in the kitchen and head to bed? It's getting kind of late."

"Brother, is everything alright?"

"Of course, silly bones. Everything is just fine."

"Brother, I'm not a child nor am I an idiot. Please tell me what's going on." Sans glanced up at you, and your heart skipped a beat.

"Kiddo and I had some serious heart-to-heart talking, that's all." Papyrus began to walk towards the kitchen, seeming to accept this before stopping.

"Was it about the cuts?" You and Sans both froze. How did he know?"

"Pap-"

"I told you Brother, I'm not an idiot. I saw them a while back, but I thought they were from a battle. But then they kept coming, even though there were no battles to be fought."

"Partly about that, yeah. You're so smart Pap."

"Thanks Brother." Papyrus left, leaving you and Sans alone again.

"I never would have guessed he would have been able to connect the dots like that. My brother sure is a clever one." You could tell he was trying to lighten the mood, but you were thoroughly shaken.

"Should I tell him?"

"It's up to you. I think he would be able to handle it." You moved to kitchen, swallowing thickly.

"Hey Papyrus?"

"Hello Human! I am glad to see you are in good health. It is good to talk about the things that bother you."

"Papyrus? If I were to… go on an adventure and never come back, never call you again, what would you do?" The taller skeleton stopped messing with the leftovers and turned to face you. His usually cocky smile faded to a concerned one.

"Why, I would track you down and follow you to the end of your adventure to make sure you were safe."

"Even if I were a killer?" Papyrus was silent, his irises seemed to dim.

"So that's what this is about…" You gave him a confused look. "I remember well, Human. What you did in the other life, or whatever you want to call it. I didn't know what it was at first, these memories. But I managed to connect the dots."

You froze, and you heard a quite keening come from the other room.

"Then you know…"

"Yes, but that was not _you._ This you is kind and loving, and I would do anything to keep this you safe." You were shaking, and he noticed. "I may seem like an airheaded loudmouth, but I know what's going on around me. I'm not a child."

He made it to where you were standing in two strides and wrapped his arms around you.

"Papyrus, I almost did something really dumb today."

"What matters is that you didn't, right?"

"I almost left you guys. For good." He stepped back from you, a fearful expression on his face.

"Human what are you saying?"

"I almost killed myself." Finally saying the words out loud formed a lump in your throat, but it felt as if a weight was lifted from your chest. You began to sob, and threw yourself at the shell-shocked skeleton in front of you. You buried your face in his scarf and cried. You were vaguely aware of a large hand patting you on the back, and of the slight quivering of the bones under you. You did, however, notice when another warm pair of arms wrapped around you.

You turned halfway and wrapped one arm around Sans, creating a group huddle. You felt wetness dripping on your head and shoulder, and saw both Papyrus and Sans had tinted tears running down their faces.

A sudden realization hit you. If you had gone through with it, they would have been crying because _you hurt them so badly._ This you, in this timeline, would have hurt them. The thought made your sobs renew and you couldn't stop your shaking.

"Come on Kiddo, we've all had a long day." Sans led you to your room, tears still pouring from your eyes. As he stopped in front of your door, he turned to you. It was obvious he wanted to say something, but you beat him to it.

"Thank you, for saving me. And I'm sorry. I didn't realize how it would affect you." He grinned lazily and ruffled your hair.

"Don't get all broken up about it kid. What matters is that you're still here. But don't ever do that again. You scared the life right out of me." He meant it as a joke, but the image of his grin turning to ash flashed across your mind. He must have realized it as well, because he grimaced. "Forget that. Just, don't let what another you did get to you, ya hear me?"

You nod, but you weren't completely sure you would be able to comply. You've spent so long blaming yourself, how could you just switch like that. Sans really was smarter than anyone gave him credit for, because he seemed to know exactly what you were thinking.

"Listen, if you have a nightmare, or feel like you're going to do something dumb again, come to my room. I'll leave the door unlocked from now on, just for you." He grinned at you, and you found yourself smiling back. Sans leaned in and pressed his smile to your forehead. "Nighty night Kiddo. I'll see you in the morning."

"Thank you Sans."

"Anytime."

* * *

 **Alright this started as a personal things, because I thought maybe writing something about someone comforting someone else would help me, and Sans is such a good big brother figure, I thought it would fit together. It was only supposed to be a page or two long, but it's six…**

 **I know everyone is out of character, but I believe that anyone would be more serious when faced with something to somber. I got the idea from another story where Frisk blamed themselves for what the other them did.**

 **I purposely wrote it so Frisk could be a girl or a guy, but it's obvious they aren't a childlike in the game. This is after the game kind of.**

 **I'm posting this because I like feedback, and I'm really proud of how this came out. It really did help me sort out my emotions. The main thing I have trouble with is believing that people would actually care if anything happened to me, so this kind of helped me set that straight.**

 **If anyone wants a second chapter, I have enough of an idea of what to do that I could add on, but only if people want me to.**

 **Thank you for reading everyone. Until next time,**

 **~Starlight**


	2. Chapter 2

**A huge shoutout to NaturalDreamer and NicoleTeethis HARTHART for being the first to review on my story! Also thanks to all the favorite and follows I already got. I was asked to write another chapter, and I figured since its Halloween it would be appropriate to write a story with some spoopy skeletons!**

* * *

 _You stare him down. You knew this was coming the second his idiot brother turned to dust. You hadn't really felt alive since then either, so you were hoping it would be a good fight. Those petty little monsters were nothing compared to the strength of your soul._

 _You clutch the knife in your hand, relishing in the irony. The same knife, cutting down both brothers. Sans faced you, his grin feral._

 _"I knew you'd becoming this way soon enough. I didn't want it to come to this, but you gave me no choice." You take a step towards him, your grin painfully wide. This was going to be fun. You made to slash him, but the stocky skeleton was much faster than you anticipated. He dodged every one of your attacks, but you dodged his with just as much ease._

 _"At least your idiot brother got some hits it." You knew just what to say to get him to really try to hit you, and it worked. His eyes didn't just glow blue, no. Blue flames shot from his socket, engulfing his whole being. Instincts made you take a step back, but anticipation made you throw yourself at him. Finally, he was willing to actually fight._

 _Suddenly, you were thrown across the way, slamming your back into a nearby tree. On shaking knees, you stood again. This was so much more amusing that the fight with Papyrus. He was too willing to go soft, and you didn't want him to go easy on you. You wanted to see him turn to dust._

 _And turn to dust he did. You recalled his last words, "I trusted you…" and felt your blood coursing through your veins. It was hot and it filled you with a sense of murderess bloodlust. You couldn't wait to feel Sans sift through your fingers._

 _"Hey Sans! Want to know what Pap's last words were?" He let out an unearthly screech and charged at you. You easily dodged his attacks, his movements fueled by blind rage. He kept coming, the heat from his eye causing your skin to prickle._

 _"He said "I trusted you." Your Papyrus impersonation was spot on, and if you thought Sans looked scary, this one was a thousand times worse._

 _"I KNEW I SHOULD HAVE KILLED YOU." His voice was guttural, all humanity gone. You cackled, knowing you were the one to make him snap too._

 _"I'd like to see you try!" You dodged another one of his attacks, almost wishing he was better at fighting and would land some hits. This was getting boring. "At least make this interesting for me."_

 _He threw his head back and let out a sound that would have had any sane human running for their lives. The ground around you began to shake, and you grasped the knife handle tighter. Now it's getting exciting._

 _Sans flung himself at you with renewed vigor, and you were shocked but partly pleased to feel the pain of the wounds received by his bone attacks. You managed to get a few good shots in as well, and soon found yourself coated in not only your own sticky blood, but whatever strange glowing liquid that was oozing from the slices in his ribs. His jacket lay a few feet away, torn to shreds._

 _"Kill me or give up Sans." He snarled and went in for another attack. You planned on letting it hit you, just to make the game more interesting, when he suddenly stopped. He was inches from your face, breathing heavily. A small voice in your head remarked how strange it was for a skeleton to breath, but the bigger part was curious. Why did he stop? Just as you were about to open your mouth, he dropped to his knees._

 _"Just do it Kiddo. Let me be with my brother." You placed a hand on the top of his cracked skull. For a second, you thought of sparing him._

 _Instead you shoved your knife deep in his eye socket. There was a flash on light, and he began to turn to that wonderful ash._

 _"I'm sorry Kiddo. I should have been able to prevent this." Even with a knife sticking from his eye, Sans managed to keep a smile on his face. "At least I can see Pap again…"_

 _You felt the last of him dissolve and ran your fingers through the ash left behind. You threw a handful into the air and watched as the wind blew it away. You turned your back on the pile of what used to be your friend and laughed._

 _And laughed, and laughed, and laughed._

* * *

You woke up with a scream. Tears stained your pillow and you must have clawed at your face in your sleep, for you could feel burning lines on your cheek. Out of habit you reached for the knife, the knife you arrived in this world with. The knife that, in another time, killed everyone. Just as you were about to put it to your wrist, you remembered what you told Sans.

You placed the knife back on your bedside table and slipped from your bed. You shrugged Sans' jacket back onto your shoulder, since it was too large and kept slipping off. You snuck from your room and crept down the hall to the last room. You tested the handle, and like he said, it was unlocked. You hesitated before actually opening the door.

The door creaked a little, and you held your breath, hoping you didn't wake him. Hearing nothing stir, you went into the dark room. There was a faint glow coming in from the window, so you were able to make out a lump in the bed. You moved and shook the lump gently.

"I'm already awake Kiddo." You jumped a little at his voice, but felt relief that you didn't wake him. "I heard your screams about ten minutes ago."

You felt the tears start up again, and wish you weren't such a baby.

"Sans it was really bad." The lump moved, and Sans poked his head out from the covers. Pushing aside the blanket, he gestured for you to come sit. You do, and immediately curl up in his arms. You began to cry again, mumbling incoherently.

"I'm so sorry Sans. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." You repeated yourself over and over, hoping he would accept it.

"There's nothing to apologize for Kiddo." You tensed at the use of the pet name, remembering how he said it when you were fighting. "What happened in your dream?"

"We were fighting, and I killed you." You began sobbing. "Oh god I killed you! Oh my god I killed you and I _enjoyed_ it!"

He tensed, but pulled you closer to him. Despite not having any organs, he was imitating the motions of breathing, and the constant movements calmed you down.

"It's okay Kid. Don't cry. I'm here now, and that's what matters." But you were inconsolable.

"I stabbed you in the eye. You turned to dust in my hands. I could have spared you but I didn't. I goaded you on, made you mad on purpose… Oh god Sans I'm so sorry." His hand found its way to your head and began to stoke your hair. Despite his beat efforts to calm you, you began to hyperventilate. Your breathing got faster and faster and you couldn't stop it.

"Listen Kiddo, you have to listen to me now. You need to calm down or you're going to pass out." He rubbed your back until your breathing slowed.

"I deserve to die." Sans' hand stopped rubbing your back abruptly.

"Shut up. You _never ever_ say that to me again. Never say that to anyone again." You were shocked to say the least, to hear such determination come from his mouth. His grip on you grew tighter, but not in a painful way.

"Sans… I'm a murderer. I deserve…" His grip tightened yet again, and this time it was definitely painful. "Ow Sans!"

He released you and inched away, afraid to hurt you farther.

"I'm sorry Kiddo… I just, it kills me to see you like this. It feels like my chest is being pulled in two when you talk like this. You shouldn't hate yourself like this. You don't deserve that." You were afraid that he would be able to tell what you were thinking, what you were feeling.

You wanted someone to tell you it was okay, to tell you that you shouldn't hate yourself. But you were afraid they would lie to you.

"Sans… tell me it's going to be okay." You needed it. Badly.

"Everything is going to be A okay. You'll be just fine. You'll live here with Pap and myself, and eat crappy spaghetti and listen to crappy puns. You'll wake up and smile because you slept through the night. Soon, you'll forget all about those bad dreams. We'll throw a huge party and invite everyone, and of course everyone will come because they all love you even if you don't think they should." He wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you into his chest. Your hands grab the fabric of his shirt and you hold on for dear life.

Sans continued without hesitating, telling you everything that's going to happen, how we would all live together like a huge happy family, and you found yourself smiling. Your cheeks were tight from the tears that dried, but you felt calm in Sans' arms.

You began to drift off to sleep, not letting go of his shirt. You felt his adjust you and you were suddenly more comfortable, lying down on the soft bed with warm arms wrapped around you. Snuggling in closer, you sign and finally drift off to sleep.

* * *

The door creaked open again and another head poked into the frame. Papyrus saw you sleeping next to Sans and smiled softly. He knew Sans wasn't sleeping.

"Hey Brother. Is the Human alright now?" he whispered into the darkness.

"Yeah Pap. Just needed a little encouragement."

"Sans… are there any more of those strange injuries?" Sans shook his head gently, knowing Papyrus would be able to see in the dark. "I heard the cries, so I went to the Human's room. The bed was empty, but the knife was there. There was dark stains on the edge…"

"Don't worry Pap, we'll make sure that knife stays unused. We'll make sure Kiddo here doesn't make any more of those nasty cuts. Isn't that right brother?"

"That's right Sans. I will be the Human's Hero if it's the last thing I do!" Papyrus didn't miss Sans' flinch.

"Let's not talk about the last things we do, okay?"

"When the Human awakens, I will show all of my affection. I will show how much I care!" Sans gave a quiet chuckle.

"That's a pretty swell idea Pap. Why didn't I think of that?" Just then, you begin to stir, Sans adjusted his hold on you and watched with a fond smile as you settled back down.

"Goodnight Brother, goodnight Human."

"Night Pap…" You mumbled into Sans' shoulder. Both skeletons started and relaxed into a loving grin.

"Don't worry Kiddo, I'm going to protect you, even if it's from yourself."

* * *

 **I decided to continue this, obviously. I might actually write another chapter or two if it tickles my fancy. Maybe one of Sans finding "you" hurting yourself after a nightmare, or having you and him have an argument. I dunno, I'll think of something.**

 **I'm not as huge of a fan of this chapter as I was of the first, but I do love this game and I do like how my writing is maturing. If anyone has any suggestions for future chapters or advice on how to improve, please let me know! I pride myself on how I incorporate the reader's ideas into the story.**

 **Thank you all for favoriteing and following and reviewing. It means so much that people actually enjoy something that I do…**

 **Until next time my lovelies,**

 **~Starlight**


	3. Chapter 3

**People actually like my writing? Why? Are you guys okay?**

 **I can't believe it you guys. Five whole reviews. I'm in honest to god shock at this point. I have some good ideas for more chapters, and** **Randomly Talented and RoseSKip1002** **gave me some wonderful ideas! I'm definitely going to work them into a chapter in the future, no doubt about it!**

 **Also, huge shout out to NaturalDreamer for being so dang supportive. Rarely do I get such positive support. It means the world to me.**

* * *

You sat on the couch, the house silent. Sans was out at his sentry job, and despite your reminding him to stay focused, you can already see him napping. Papyrus and Undyne went on a weekend training trip to the forest. The house was quiet, but it was nice. The past few days had been hectic, Pap and Sans never leaving you alone for more than ten minutes at a time.

You hadn't had as many nightmares since that first night when you went to Sans' room, and you've begun to forgive yourself a little, slowly, an inch at a time. You were sitting on the couch, listening to the snow fall. You had a warm mug in your hands and life seemed pretty okay. In the past couple of days you've discovered that the monsters that could remember were about even with those that had no clue anything happened before.

As you sipped your mug, the doorbell rang. You placed the mug on the coffee table and went to answer the door. Standing on the doorstep was a small monster, a child, with a small bow on her head and three large eyes.

"Um I'm here to see Papyrus, about the cooking lesson I was supposed to have today-" She stopped and her eyes grew wide. Taking a step back, the little monster began to tremble. "Y-you're… you killed… you're a demon!"

She ran away as fast as her legs could carry her, leaving you shell-shocked in the door frame. You watched her figure get smaller and smaller as the flurries began to fall a little heavier. Slowly, you closed the door and went back over to the couch. Your legs waited just long enough for you to be right on front of the cushions to give out. You fell onto the couch and stared at your hands.

You remembered that little monster, and it was clear she remembered you as well. Your hands began shaking

 _She was shaking, cowering behind a boulder, the ashes of her friends coating her shoulders. You called out for her, wanting to slit her throat like the others._

 _"Come on out chick a dee! Come give me a hug!" She crouched farther, trying to make herself as small as possible, but it was useless. Your head slowly peered over the boulder. She hadn't seen you yet because her face was hidden in her knees. This was way too delicious._

 _You feel your eye twitch in anticipation and your grin widens. You wanted to draw it out more, but a thrilled giggle escaped your lips and it made her flinch._

 _"P-please no… Please…" You giggle at how pathetic she sounded._

 _"I would…" She shot her head up, her eyes filled with hope. "But that's no fun."_

 _Your knife came down, splattering your face with her blood, or whatever liquids were in her. It never ceased to amaze you how many different kinds of blood there were. Her friends had hot blood, but hers was chilly. You brought the knife to your lips, your tongue darting out to lap up the already drying liquid._

 _Laughing, you hop over the boulder and kick her ashes around, mixing it in with the snow to make a grey mess. It was beautiful_

* * *

You finally snap out of the flashback and run to the bathroom, barely making it to the bathroom before throwing up your breakfast. You emptied your stomach and when the smell hit you, you retched again and again. By the time your stomach was completely empty, your throat was raw and your eyes were sore from crying. Your hands were shaking even harder now, and black spots were dancing in front of your eyes.

You curled up in the corner of the bathroom, pulling your knees up to your chest and wrap your arms around your legs. You hide your face and try to remember what Sans always told you, that you're loved and that all those deaths were not your fault.

It wasn't working.

You bolted up and headed to the kitchen. You knew Sans took your knife and hid it in his room somewhere, but you couldn't wait to dig through his drawers. In the kitchen, you find the knife block, pulling out a large carving blade before going back to the bathroom.

You lock the door behind you and curl back up in your corner. You peel off your shirt and eye the lines on our arm. They were starting to fade already, the newest ones already lost their redness. You smile shakily, remembering all the monster you murdered. Their final moments flashing through your memories one after another until you were sobbing.

You make the first cut, and your breathing stops for a second. You had almost forgotten how… good it feels. You find your hand was steadier than before, so the lines were perfectly straight. You made twelve lines down your arm, from elbow to wrist. You moved to your shoulder, not caring about the blood drenching your pants and the floor.

Each cut filled you with a sense of calm. You could feel the sluggish calm slowly filtering through your veins and you didn't want it to stop. You were so focused, you didn't notice the sound of the front door opening and closing.

You make another cut on your shoulder, enjoying the feeling of the blood running down your arm.

You didn't hear the sound of someone calling your name from the living room.

You cut your stomach, making lines under your ribs, not caring that your pants are completely ruined.

You didn't hear the cursing when someone realized there was a knife missing in the kitchen.

You realize this feeling you have now is the same as when you killed, the feeling of blood on your skin and the adrenaline causing you to feel almost high.

You didn't hear frantic footsteps coming up the stairs

You moved to your thigh, wanting to feel the high even more. Besides, you deserved this.

You didn't hear someone jiggling the handle of the bathroom.

You smile as your vision began to darken around the edges.

You don't notice the slight sounds of clicking.

You hold the knife in front of your face and watched the blood drip rom the blade onto the ground, completely mesmerized.

The door flung open and you felt cold hands touching your face, your arms, your hand. The knife was taken from you and you were vaguely aware of the sound of metal hitting the ground. Your vision clears a little, the fog lessening with the adrenaline.

Sans is kneeling in front of you, looking terrified. There were red splatters on his bone white cheeks, and his usual grin was turned into a horrified grimace. His fingers were dripping in crimson as he desperately tried to wipe off your arms.

"Kid what the _hell?"_ You had never heard Sans curse, but it took a second for it to process. When you realized what he said, you were shocked.

"Sans… you cursed?" Your words were slurred, barely understandable.

"Yeah I fuckin cursed! What were you thinking?" He was crying, his tears cutting tracks into the red that spotted his face.

"She remembered." Your eyes felt really heavy. You wanted Sans to stop shaking you so you could take a nap. You'll explain when you wake up.

"No, no, no, no. Stay awake. Come on Kiddo you have to keep your eyes open. Who's she? What happened?"

"Sans I'm tired…"

"I know Kiddo, but you have to stay awake for me okay? Now tell me what happened."

"She came to see Pap… but she saw me instead… I'm a Demon. A killer." You began crying again, and you weakly berated yourself for being such a baby.

"No… oh god no that's not true. You're not a demon. You're not a killer."

"I deserve it…" your voice was barely a whisper. You felt something cold and wet wipe your face, and it felt nice. Your skin was hot.

"Come on. I have to clean you up." You felt yourself being moved, but you couldn't understand why. You were comfortable where you were.

You were lifted and placed into a chilly bed. At least you thought it was a bed. You pressed your cheek against the cold side, finally registering where you were. Sans had lifted you into the tub. You hear the water running, and warm water is poured on your body. A soft cloth wiped your arms, your stomach, your thigh. It felt nice. Something hard grabbed your face.

"You _have_ to stay awake. Please work with me here. I can't lose you…" His voice sounded so broken, and you didn't like your Sans to sound sad, so you opened your eyes, just for him. His face was clean, no more blood. Your corner, however, was drenched in red. It looked like someone was killed there.

Your heart skipped a beat when you realized someone almost did. You almost did. You allowed Sans to wipe you down. As soon as he realized your eyes were open and mostly focused, his face relaxed a little. His smile was back, but it was scared.

"Am I going to die?" He shook his head violently.

"No way Kiddo. I refuse to let anything happen to you." You smile, glad someone was looking out for you. Sans lifted you from the tub and wrapped you in a towel. He quickly dried you off before pulling out a roll of bandaging. He carefully wrap all your cuts. Not once did you wince in pain.

He carried you to his room and placed you on his bed. After a couple moments of shuffling, he came back. With your help, he propped you up and slipped a heavy shirt on over your head. You felt one leg being lifted at a time, and fabric being slipped up over your hips. The bandaging stopped the cloth from hurting your wounds.

When he was finished, Sans sat on the bed and stroked your hair. You could feel his hand shaking. The two of you sat in silence for what seemed like hours. Every time you began to drift off, he would jostle your shoulder, waking you up time and time again.

"Why did you do it?"

"The little monster girl came by. She called me a demon. A murderer. Then the flashbacks kept coming and coming and coming. I couldn't make it stop until I…" Your voice wasn't slurred as much, but it was obvious you were exhausted.

"Why didn't you come find me?"

"You were working. I didn't want Undyne to yell at you because of me."

"It's worth being yelled at if it'll keep you safe." You smiled and closed your eyes, snuggling in closer to his strange warmth. You felt his arm wrap around your shoulder.

"I'm sorry. For worrying you all the time."

"That's okay Kiddo. As long as you're safe I don't mind worrying every once in a while."

"Don't tell Pap about this?"

"No promises kid. I don't think I can lie about a gigantic red stain in the bathroom." You flinched a little, feeling guilty for inconveniencing them so much.

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. We're here for you." He ran his hand down your back soothingly. A light hum filled the room. You couldn't quite place what the song was, but it filled you with the feeling of safety. You slowly fell asleep, Sans actually letting you fall sleep this time.

* * *

As soon as you fell asleep, Sans slipped from the room. He went to the bathroom and eyed the mess with extreme distaste. It instantly reminded him of what he saw back in another timeline, back in another house, without a brother. He shook his head to clear his mind.

He used his powers to scrub the floor, afraid of actually touching the clotting blood. Now that the real danger was out of the way, the sight of all that red made Sans want to throw up. It took an hour, and ruined three towels, but it was finally done.

Sans went downstairs and collapsed on the couch, exhausted. He knew he had to tell Papyrus, but he dreaded the phone call. He pulled out his phone from his pocket and stared at Pap's contact for several minutes before finally getting the courage to hit call. The phone rang and rang, and Sand thought he has lucked out, but his Brother answered right as it would have gone to voicemail. Sans sighed and closed his eyes.

"Hey Pap."

"Hello Brother! Training has been going wonderfully! Undyne is very impressed with my progress!"

"That's great Pap."

"Is something wrong Brother?"

"There was an incident…"

"Is the Human alright?"

"Sort of?"

"Brother what happened?!" Sans flinched at the tone of his brother's voice.

"Someone came to the door apparently. Someone who remembered." Sans could hear the intake of breath on the other line. "Said some pretty uncool things. I… ah… found the kid in the bathroom with one of the kitchen knives. There was… oh god Pap there was so much blood."

He had tried to keep an airy tone, but he broke. He was so scared.

"Brother you must calm yourself. Is the human okay?"

"Yeah. We're out of bandages though."

"I will return home immediately. Undyne is sure to understand." Sans wanted to protest, tell his Brother to enjoy his training trip, but he desperately needed his brother with him. He couldn't do this alone.

"Please hurry bro." Papyrus didn't comment on how broken his brother sounded, but gave a quick goodbye and hung up, leaving Sans alone again. He curled up on the couch, wondering how things went to wrong. How could someone so innocent and caring be a murderous killer in another timeline? How could a personality switch so drastically?

Sans heard the clock in the hall strike 8, and he realized that he had ditched work again. He had just stopped home to see if the kid wanted to get a burger during his lunch break when he found himself smack dab in the middle of a nightmare.

Sans sat on the couch, in the dark, desperately hoping he made it in time. In hindsight, if he hadn't, the kid _does_ have the power to restart, but the whole world would be taken back to the beginning, starting all relationships over again. He felt his consciousness slip away, and was soon asleep on the couch.

* * *

You woke up to an empty room. Your head was clearer, your thoughts more organized. But at the same time, it seemed like every inch of your skin was on fire. You look down at the bandaging covering you and felt your stomach drop. You really messed up this time.

You went into the hall and passed the bathroom, noting how the blood had been cleaned up. There was only a slight red tinge to the tiles. You made your way down the stairs and heard a slight whistling coming from the couch.

Sans was fast asleep, air whistling through his teeth. You went to the kitchen and searched for some kind of painkiller. Unfortunately, since you lived with skeletons, there was no need to have painkillers in the house. Instead, you poured yourself a cold glass of water and tried to calm your stomach a little.

You placed the cup on the counter next to the sink, seeing how Pap was the only one who could reach the actual sink. Tip toeing into the living room, you curled up on the couch next to Sans and pulled the blanket around you. You curled up against him and let his warmth lull you back to sleep. You didn't notice him glance at you momentarily before smiling gently and falling back to sleep.

* * *

 **Sorry if this was a little graphic. It's weird, how writing about a skeleton comforting a nameless protagonist can actually make me feel comforted. The human mind is strange, but not nearly as strange as human emotions I suppose.**

 **Until next time**

 **~Starlight**


	4. Chapter 4

**I really am so glad everyone is giving such positive feedback! I'm even more ecstatic that you guys are seriously enjoying this so much! I was really worried about how people wouldn't like the serious direction this story is going seeing how everyone's favorite characters are always chipper and fun and stuff, but you guys really seem to be enjoying it!**

* * *

"Jesus Christ Sans!"

"Listen here, Brat."

"Oh so I'm a brat now huh?" Sans gave an aggravated hiss.

"You better believe you're being a brat right now!" You and Sans were locked in the middle of a stare down, and neither of you were willing to give up.

"You're… you're insufferable!" What had started out as a simple comment on how Sans still babies Papyrus had turned into a full-fledged argument about each other's flaws. At first it was petty little jabs here and there, commenting on how you chew loudly, or how Sans snores, but quickly evolved into something serious.

Now, you couldn't do something without making him growl in annoyance, and he couldn't even open his mouth without you sneering. Papyrus, sweet innocent Papyrus didn't notice the icy strain between the two of you until almost a week into the argument.

It had been nine days, and you were filled with bitter satisfaction from how riled you've made Sans this morning. You had gone to Grillby's and told Grillby to help you trick Sans. He was more than willing, seeing how the shorter skeleton's tab was unusually large.

He went there for lunch, as usual, but Grillby pretended not to be able to see him. Sans became very irritated, and when he realized you were behind it, he came after you.

"Only a brat would involve other people! I can't believe you!"

"Oh really? You were the one who filled all the juice bottles with ketchup! You know I hate ketchup."

"I'm _done_ with you!" Sans tried to push past you, but you refused to budge.

"No, no. _I'm_ done." You make a point to slam into his shoulder as you walked past him, slamming the front door behind you. You walked through Snowdin, smiling tightly as the residents greeted you fondly. You kept walking and walking, not noticing where you were going. What finally stopped you was the sudden rush of heat.

Somehow, you made it all the way to the Hot Lands. You sat on the edge of the walkway, dangling your feet over the edge. The heat felt wonderful after spending so long in such a cold town. Soon, the heat becomes uncomfortable, so you take off your sweater and folded it neatly beside you. You hum gently, feeling the stress of the last few days melt away.

The nightmares have been coming back, but now they were more twisted. It was usually the dream with Sans, but things got really scary. You recall the dream from last night with a shudder.

 _Sans took another step towards you, his grin so wide you could see the cracks growing larger and larger until most of his skull was cracked. Blood dripped from his eye sockets, but not his glowing blue blood. Scarlet dripped from his black holes, not a lick of iris to be seen._

 _"You killed me. You_ _ **killed me.**_ _" He took another step forward, and you scrambled back._

 _"I didn't want to!"_

 _"Too late Kiddo… I'm_ _ **gone."**_ _He took a final step towards you. Just as he was about to reach for you, his skull rolled off and you woke up just as it was about to hit you._

It was horrifying. At least the other dreams were memories, these were actual nightmares and they sure as hell haunted you, day in and day out. You wanted to go to Sans, but he was still giving you the cold shoulder. All you did was mention how he shouldn't baby Papyrus so much, and he took major insult. He immediately got defensive, calling you out on your flaws.

At first you were just shocked, but soon you were all fired up. You refused to let this short skeleton beat you in anything.

You look down at your arm, paler than the rest of you due to the bandages that were on them for weeks. Sans let you take them off maybe a day or two before this whole fight started and you were still getting used to the feeling of not having an extra layer under your clothes.

You traced the lines on your arm, slightly upset that they were there in the first place, but also slightly upset that they were fading. You had gotten so used to the being there that it was weird for them not to be. You lean back and prop yourself up with your arms and close your eyes. Letting the sounds of steam relax you.

You hear footsteps approaching, but you ignored them. It wasn't your problem. You stated feeling uneasy when you notice the footsteps slow the closer they got to where you were sitting. You played with the idea of moving, but you weren't doing anything wrong, why should you move for a stranger?

The footsteps stopped directly behind you, and you cracked one eye open. A dark figure was casting a large shadow, which at this perspective was all you could see. Suddenly, it was like all the sounds stopped at the same time. You heard a gruff cough from behind you, and you slowly turned your head.

Behind you was the largest monster you have ever seen. He was easily eight foot, dressed in heavy armor. His left hand held a large club. The armor had several dents, but the club was covered in various shades of stains. You were filled with a sense of dread.

"Yo Human. I knew it was you the moment I saw you, you disgusting piece of shit." You stand and reach for your sweater. But the monster stomped on it. You took a step back but it was no use. "You killed my wife, you killed my child, then you killed me. And now? _I'm going to kill you."_

"I'm s-sorry but that wasn't me-" but he wasn't listening. You weren't wearing any of your defensive clothing because Sans told you monsters wouldn't attack anymore. You were completely defenseless.

The first hit didn't hurt much, probably from the shock that he actually hit you. The monster reared back and went for another hit. You dodged to the right and rolled, almost rolling off the edge of the walkway. You caught yourself at the last second, just in time for you to dodge again, but you weren't fast enough.

His club clipped the edge of your face, causing blood to gush from the wound, slicking up the walkway dangerously. Your vision began to swim as he swung again. You barely escaped the range of fire, before he got another hit in, breaking your leg. The feeling of dread increased, and you began to cry, knowing this would be the end for you. You limped over to the monster and finally attacked. You threw a fist at his armored chest, but it bounced off with no damage.

You collapsed in front of him, your head pounding and your vision going black. Faintly you realized you've been bleeding a whole lot lately. You look up at the monster and watched as he raised his club above his head, your blood dripping on to his helmet. You closed your eyes and waited for the final blow.

Your final thought was that you're going to die with Sans hating you.

You waited for death, but it never came. You risked cracking one eye open. Instead of a hulking killer standing above you, you saw a slightly shoter figure. They were skinny but had a large head. Glancing to the left, you saw the monster was curled in a ball, bruised and battered. You shot up, relieved that you weren't going to die just yet.

Turning back to the figure in front of you, you almost let out a scream when he was right in front of your face. He came forward and kneeled in front of you while you were looking at your would-be killer. It wasn't just any monster that had saved you.

Papyrus kneeled in front of you, concern etched in every inch of his face. His gloved hand came up to the side of your face and you flinched, feeling the club wound. You could feel your head pounding in time with your heartbeat.

"Human! The Great Papyrus came to your rescue! Just as I promised!" His voice made the pain in your head triple, and you couldn't stop the wince. He pulled back and gave you a sheepish look. He placed his hands on his knees and leaned forward slightly.

"Human?" He lowered his voice and the pain receded a little. "Are you alright?"

If your head wasn't about to explode, you would have shook it. You were the farthest thing from oaky.

"Yeah Pap…" Each syllable was extremely pronounced. It was hard for you to think.

"No human, do not lie to the Great Papyrus. I can

see your leg is bent at a very unnatural angle, and I'm quite sure there shouldn't be bleeding from the skull." You close your eyes and smile bitterly.

"You're right Pap. You're so smart." You found yourself falling into the same habit Sans has, of complimenting Papyrus all the time.

"Come along Human. I shall find you something special to heal your wounds." He lifted you from the ground with one arm under your knees and one arm under your shoulders. Your leg was jostled in the movement, and you couldn't hold back a scream of pain. "HUMAN ARE YOU ALRIGHT? DID I HURT YOU?"

You could tell he was frantic at the thought of injuring you, so you made sure to tell him it definitely was not his fault. As you walked back to the house, you could tell he wanted to say something, but he held back. Finally, he opened his mouth and said what had probably been bothering him the entire walk.

"Human, I was scared. More scared than I've ever been in my life. I thought I was too late to save you. When Brother called me the night of my training trip, I was terrified. I rushed home as quickly as I could, but I was afraid. Part of me knew Brother was there to make sure nothing worse would happen, but this time… You and my Brother are still fighting… If I didn't come save you, who would? Coming home, seeing your arm bandaged. Having to change the bandages on your stomach and leg. It was terrifying. You, a small human, scare the Great Papyrus." He gave a sad chuckle.

"Pap… I'm sorry."

"You scare me because I care for you, Human. Seeing you injured, especially by your own hand? It scared me because I was not able to protect you. It seems I have failed to protect your once again." He kept his eyes forward, but you knew he was trying to hold back tears.

"Thank you Pap. You're my hero." His face lit up, and you could feel his step gain a bit of pep. It hurt your leg, but you refused to tell him. It would upset him again.

It was a slow walk to Snowdin. Neither you nor Papyrus broke the silence, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence. As you approached the house, you saw a figure waiting outside the door. Sans was bouncing his foot and tapping his hand on this leg. He looked left, right, left and chewed on his fingers. You could see the frown on his face.

As you came into sight, he nearly jumped. He ran towards you but stopped mere inches from where Papyrus was standing. Sans reached a hand out and stroked your hair.

"I'm so sorry Kiddo… if I wasn't such a bone head none of this would have happened." You wanted to give him a hug and tell him it wasn't his fault, but you wouldn't have been able to stand with your broken leg.

"Brother, the Human's leg is most definitely broken, and the head wound was bleeding for a very long time." Sans gestured you both inside and had Papyrus place you on the couch. Your leg bounced on the arm of the couch and it was all you could do not to scream again. Sans tossed a little pouch at Papyrus.

"Run to the store and get some cinnamon bunnies. As many as you can buy and get back here as soon as you can." Papyrus saluted and rushed out of the house. Sans turned back to you and signed. He sat on the floor with his back against the couch. You reached out and placed your hand on his skull. He quickly turned around to look at you.

"I'm sorry Sans. It was dumb of me to keep this fight going. And to run away like that." He shook his head and turned his whole body to face you. He took your hand.

"No I'm sorry. I know I baby Papyrus. I just… I'm afraid he's going to grow up without me. And I wasn't used to anyone talking back to me like you do. I should have gone after you…" He dropped your hand and placed his head in his hands. "My pride almost got you killed."

"Well, if we're both going to sit here and blame ourselves, might as well do it over something hot to drink." You offer a smile, and Sans was more than willing to make amends.

"Yeah. Hold on Kiddo. I'll getcha something while we wait for Pap." He stood, and you giggled when his bones cracked with the movement. He gave you a playful glare and placed a hand on your face.

"Yeah, yeah I get it. I'm an old bag of bones." You hear clinking come from the kitchen and after about five minutes he came back with two mugs. He sipped his immediately, but you had to let your cool a little before you were able to sip it.

"Sans? How are you able to eat?" He grinned and shrugged, taking another sip from his mug.

"That's for me to know and you to find out." Just as you were about to protest, Papyrus threw the door open. He was carrying two boxes full Cinnamon Bunnies. Sans gave him a slightly concerned look.

"Um, bro? There's no way you bought that many."

"No Brother! These were gifted to me in the hopes of the Human's speedy recovery!" He scampered over to you and pulled one of the gooey buns from the top box. He handed it straight to you, getting the icing all over your hands. You ate it, loving the taste of the warm icing and gooey cinnamon. You felt the wound on your head close and your leg bone mend.

You felt buzzing on your arm, and you were more than shocked to see that the bun had healed most of the scars from your arm.

"Sans?" He looked over at you and his irises widened.

"Did it…?" You just nod.

"That is OUTSTANDING!" Papyrus dropped the boxes on the table and gathered you up in a crushing hug. "You are completely healed Human! I, the Great Papyrus, have healed you!"

"Thanks Pap! You're my hero." Pap grinned and jumped up and rushed to the kitchen to make a celebratory dinner.

Sans was still standing, so you moved over to make room on the couch. He sat down and sighed. The two of you sat there, not talking, just enjoying each other's company for the first time in over a week.

"I really am sorry Sans. The past week has been awful."

"So am I. It was dumb to fight anyway." He smiled at you, but his grin faded quickly. "Have- have you been having any bad dreams lately?"

You flinch a little, not wanting to relive it again.

"Yeah, but they're more nightmares than memories."

"I'm sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" He looked up at you, shocked.

"You didn't come to me because we were fighting, right?" You nod slowly. "So it was my fault you had to live through those nightmares alone."

You give Sans a tight hug and smile when he returns it.

"But I swear if you call me a brat again, it'll be war." Sans turned his whole body towards you and grinned, accepting the challenge.

* * *

 **Guys… Guys… I've gotten over 70 emails just for this story. Just wow…**

 **This was supposed to be a one-shot, and here is chapter 4. I have no clue how many chapters this will actually be, so keep an eye out.**

 **It was mentioned how great I am at updating this story every day, and I wish I could say it's because I have my life together, but it's really because I've pushed off all my responsibilities to write, As soon as my motivation leaves, so will the everyday updates.**

 **Until next time**

 **~Starlight**


	5. Chapter 5

**Since I'm going to be waiting to get my car re-inspected for a few hours, I thought I would type this little old thing up.**

 **I know keep saying thanks for everything. But I really do mean it. When I feel the need to do something… dumb, reading about someone going through the same thing helps calms me down. I know it's weird, but it keeps me safe(ish). I had a guest review that they do something similar to help them cope, and I'm really happy that I was able to help them.**

* * *

You decided it was time to get everyone out of the house. The skeletons had been holed up in Snowdin thanks to a massive blizzard, and now that the roads were clear, you needed to get out. You packed a picnic, making sure there was no spaghetti. Everyone was tired of pasta of every kind. You set out on your journey, Sans carrying the basket, Papyrus carrying the blanket and you leading the way.

"Jeez Kid. We're going on a picnic, not on a three week trip. How much food did you pack?" You stuck your tongue out at him and kept walking.

You wished you could go back to the ruins and picnic in the flower bed you woke up on, but Toriel said you couldn't reenter the ruins and you didn't want to go against her again. You made for a clearing between Snowdin and the Hot Lands, a place only you know about. The snow around it was melted and the air was warm.

"Over here Pap!" You were more excited than you've been for a while. The weather was nice, you were proud of the lunch you made the guys, and you actually had a wonderful night's sleep last night. Papyrus, with great show and gusto, placed the blanket on the damp ground. Sans placed the basket in the middle and plopped down on the blanket, crossing his legs.

Papyrus sat across from him, spreading his long legs out. You stepped over his thigh bone and settled down in between his legs, like a child would with their mother. You rummaged through the basket, pulling out goodie after goodie.

You had spent hours preparing this meal, making the bread fresh, baking desert, squeezing lemons for the lemonade. Sure, some might say you went a little over board, but this was part of your 'thank you' to Sans and Papyrus, not only for letting you live with them, but caring so much about you and keeping you safe.

After all the food was set out, you placed the basket off to the side to let the other two admire your handy work.

"Wow kid! This really is quite the spread. How long did it take you to make this?" You shrug and smirk.

"Oh not too long."

"That is quite the understatement Human! The light was still on in the kitchen when I went to be last night!" Sans gave you a strange look.

"Well?" They looked at you and cocked their heads. "Dig in!"

The picnic wasn't all innocent. You definitely had an ulterior motive. You were planning on doing something to thank them, but after Sans vague answer about how he eats, you began plotting. You watched Sans bite, chew and swallow, but you couldn't see where it went because of his jacket. You turned your head to watch Papyrus, and had the same problem.

Pap chewed, and swallowed, but nothing came past his armor… thing. You furrowed your brow and tried to think of what could possibly be happening. You didn't realize you had stopped eating, but Sans did.

"What's wrong kid? Not hungry?"

"Huh? Oh no I was just thinking." You smile at him and take a bite.

"About what, Human?"

"Um…"

"You can tell the Great Papyrus!"

"Well… what happens to the food when you eat it?" They were silent for a moment. Sans and Papyrus exchanged a look before one of them finally spoke up.

"Actually… we don't know." Papyrus sounded sheepish. You were dumbfounded.

"You don't know?" Sans was cracking up over how shocked you were.

"Nah. Maybe there's some kind of vortex magic in us."

"But you told me you knew!" His grin widened.

"I was tricking you." You gave a frustrated growl and threw your sandwich crust at him. Just as it was about to hit him, he caught it in his mouth and made a big deal of swallowing it. Shaking your head at your friend, you began to present the desert. You had made special chocolate treats with pretzels and nuts. You heard a rustling in the bushes behind you and instinctually tensed, waiting for an attack. Sans and Pap must have read the atmosphere because they slowed their chewing. All three of you turned to stare at the bush.

The rustling got louder, and just as you were about to stand, a small monster fell from the foliage. He was tiny, smaller than the yellow girl back in Snowdin who had great taste in striped clothing. He was maybe two feet tall, and had two small horn nubs coming from his head. He had eight large eyes and two small fangs peeking out from his mouth. His arms were kind of stubby, but his tail was about as long as he was tall. His whole body was covered in a fine layer of pink tinted fur.

The small monster made eye contact with you and his eyes grew wide with fear. He scrambled back an inch, but took notice of the food in your hand. You could practically see the child begin to salivate. Not wanting to frighten him more, you slowly put your hand out, offering him the other half of your lunch.

He eyes you distrustfully and held one hand to his throat, as if to protect it from something. Like a knife, perhaps? His stomach must have won over his fear, for the kid reached out and snagged the sandwich from your hand and began eating ravenously.

You noticed he kept at least two eyes on you while he ate. You couldn't blame him. It was obvious he remembered what happened, and he was right to distrust you. When there was nothing more than crumbs left, he blinked all eight eyes at once and took a step towards the blanket. Sans and Papyrus had stayed as still as you had while the monster child ate, and tensed more when he came closer.

He wasn't as afraid, and it filled you with joy. You offered him another sandwich and he accepted happily, munching on it quietly. He came over and sat on the edge of the blanket, ignoring you and the skeletons completely, favoring all of his attention towards his new treat. You watched in awe as his shoulders relaxed and he began to smile through the crumbs.

"T-thank you." His voice sounded like little pebbles being tossed across a lake, and you thought how adorable he was. You gave him a warm smile and some of the chocolate treat.

"It's no problem. I made way too much for just the three of us anyway." The little monster paused at the sound of your voice, his wide eyes showing his confusion.

"You sound much nicer this time." You pull your hand back in shock.

"T-thank you." He smiled up at you, showing his still-growing fangs and his slight overbite.

"Your eyes are nicer too. They match the trees." You never thought your eyes were very tree colored, but if it made the kid happy…

"I like your horns." That was obviously the right thing to say, for the child's eyes lit up and he dropped crumbs all over the blanket.

"Thanks! My brother's didn't come in until he was eight, and I'm only six! Poppy said he was really proud at how fast I'm growing up!" You chuckled and watched the monster child prance around showing off his horns and fangs.

"Why don't you come sit with us, instead of sitting on the edge of the blanket?" He hesitated, looking taken back at the offer, before accepting. He settled in between your legs, kind of like how you were sitting between Pap's. He snuggled into your chest and reached for another treat.

It was amazing, having someone trust you so much, especially since he _remembered_. You were filled with… awe. Maybe there was hope for you after all. You stroked the fur on top of his head as he ate, marveling as he began to purr. Sans was watching you from across the blanket, watching your face soften as you looked down at the child, watched how you laughed with more ease, how your smiles seemed to come more naturally.

He thought back to when you first came to live in Snowdin with him and Pap. You refused to come out of your room for the first week, sneaking out to the bathroom and kitchen only when you thought the house was empty. It took almost a month for you to actually sit with them for supper. Almost two before you were able to look anyone in the eyes or walk around without any kind of bandage on.

Now look at you, smiling and laughing with a new friend, with people who care all around you. Sans felt a pricking sensation in his eye sockets, but refused to actually cry. He was just so happy, but knew if you saw tears you would fret like a mother hen.

As you gave the child a glass of lemonade, you hear a voice float into the clearing. The child's ears perked up and he looked up at you.

"I think that's my dad. It's almost dinner time."

"Oh dear. It looks like I spoiled your appetite." The child gave a toothy grin and jumped to his feet.

"I'm always hungry. That's how I grew up so fast!"

"Don't grow up too fast though. Enjoy being a kid while you can." He smiles at you, but probably didn't understand how important your advice was. You began packing up the last sandwich in a napkin for the child to take when the bushes began to rustle again.

This time, a much larger creature walked out. He was at tall as Sans, and just about as wide. His fur was a light green, and had large curling horns that framed his face. His fangs curved below his chin and looked very sharp.

"Poppy!" The child grabbed the sandwich and ran towards the newcomer. The older monster caught the child and lifted him in the air playfully before placing him back on the ground.

"I told you not to wander too far away from the cabin."

"I know Poppy, but I met a nice new friend who gave me sandwiches and treats! I also got head pats!" He was practically buzzing with how happy he was, but his father didn't seem so pleased. He looked up at the blanket and his eyes went wide. It was obvious he recognized you as well, and you didn't think he was going to take it as well as his son did.

"Would you like some chocolate treats to take with you? I made too many." You gave what you hoped was an innocent smile. The child ran back to the blanket, asking if he really could bring some of those back with him as well. Giggling, you wrapped up the last of the chocolate treats and handed them to the child.

To show his gratitude, the child tried to hug you, only to realize his hands were now full. Instead he came close and licked your face like a dog would. Despite the trail of slime left on your cheek, you beamed at him. His father stayed a safe distance away, but looked slightly less suspicious. As the child ran towards his father, you called after him.

"Come visit us in Snowdin if you're ever in town!" the child gave his father the treats and turned to face you. He cupped his hands around his mouth and called back.

"Thank you!" As they retreated, you stared at your hands, trying to completely comprehend what just happened. Your eyes began to sting with the familiar feeling of tears, and you accidentally let one slip out. You wiped it away with a smile. Papyrus wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on the top of your head.

Sans chuckled and when you looked at him, he gave you an extremely smug grin. You shook your head a little and threw some more bread crust in his direction.

"I would say I told you so, but that line is _bone dry._ " Sans' grinned curled like a certain cat from a childhood story. You just stick your tongue out, but you had to admit, he was right. Not that you'd ever actually tell him that.

* * *

 **Okay so if you hadn't noticed, this chapter isn't as depressing as everything else. That's because the rest of the chapters are going to be emotional AF. Besides, I felt as though "you" needed a break from constantly being injured.**

 **So I've been given a few amazing ideas, such as having you be attacked and sacrificing yourself for Sans and Papyrus and having you actually going through with your plan from the first chapter. I'm hoping to be able to fit both chapters in at some point. I actually have a few ideas of how I want them to play out already.**

 **Also, I've made it so the relationship between Sans and "you" is fairly platonic, but I could just as easily make it romantic. It wouldn't be anything sexual. (At least not in this particular story) but it would add another dimension to the comfort aspect of the plot. Let me know what you'd like to see! If you'd want something more in the M rating, I could write a one shot later ;) but for this story, tell me your thoughts on romance. (BTW this applies to any of the characters. You/sans, you/Pap. I can add more of the characters in as well. Tell me what ships you want!)**

 **Until next time!**

 **~Starlight**


	6. Chapter 6

**Alright, so it was (almost) unanimous. There won't be any romance between Sans and the reader. If anyone wants any romance between any other characters besides with the reader then I'll try to do my best with the new characters. (And for those so far who wanted romance, I'm thinking of doing a short fluffy romance story eventually, don't you worry)**

* * *

You curled up on the couch, watching the snow fall through the window above the TV. You were watching a Mettaton program, but found his voice was too outgoing for you today. You clicked off the television and wrapped the blanket around you. Despite the blanket, you could still feel the cold nipping at your toes. Bracing yourself against the cold, you dart up to your room and grab the other blanket on your bed. It was made special for you, because you got cold so often. It was fluffy and so warm you almost never needed more than just that to keep warm.

You made it back to the couch in time to see a small monster land on the window sill. It reminded you of the small red birds that would dance around in the snow back in the human world. You wrap your blanket around your shoulders and the blanket from the couch around your feet. You suddenly craved a hot drink, but decided you were too comfortable to get up again, so you snuggled back down into your cocoon of fabric.

The snow continued to fall, and you could barely hear the muffled _poff poff_ of the snow falling gently. It was nice to have a day off every once in a while. Papyrus brought you with him to his cooking lessons with Undyne, and although she had the best intentions, she could be a little… _much_ at times. You needed to recharge after a lesson.

Despite two blankets, you began to feel the cold seep into your bones again. You could go make something warm to drink, but the cold wasn't unbearable yet. You're attention drifted towards the past couple of months. Your life had changed completely. They took you in and nursed you back to health. They saved your life and saved your heart. Your mind began to wander again.

You thought of the couples in Snowdin, how happy they look when they're together. You feel a pang in your chest. You weren't sure you wanted a _relationship_ per say, but you did want someone to be there for you, someone to hold your hand and laugh with you.

Honestly, the thought of being alone didn't really bother you too much. You had Sans and Papyrus and everyone else, but it still would be nice. Your mind began to wander again. You relived the day of the picnic, and felt warmth fill your being. Since then, the child had come to visit twice. Both times you made some tea and made some kind of craft. The first visit was the day before his mother's birthday, so you made cute cards, with colorful hearts made of paper and smiley stickers. The second time was on some Underground holiday so you baked a cake together. When he was about to leave, he asked if he could bring some friends along. You were more than eager to have the child, Tommy, bring his friends to visit.

While lost in your thoughts, the front door opened. The incoming gust of air snapped you from your thoughts. You pulled your legs into your chest and shuttered.

"Hey close the door!"

"Oh I apologize Human!" You peaked your head from your cocoon in time to see Papyrus close the door with a bump of the hip. He bounded over to where you were on the couch. "Undyne showed me this amazing way to make pasta! Apparently, if you put the noodles into direct flames, it'll cook twice as fast! My Undyne is so smart."

His face had an orange tint to it, most likely from the cold. You smiled at his puppy-dog grin.

"Maybe Undyne can come over here one night for dinner. I'd love to cook for her."

"NYEH HEH HEH SHE WOULD LOVE TO!" You shook your head lovingly and wiggled your way from out of the blankets. The sudden cold made you gasp and your teeth immediately started chattering. "Human? Go back under your covers. I will turn the heat up for you!"

He went over to the wall and messed with the dial. You smiled and cuddled back up in the blankets. The fabric still had faint warmth in it, and you were eager to warm it back up again. You let the blankets heat back up as you listened to Papyrus clink around in the kitchen. A few minutes later Pap came back out with a single mug.

He had taken off his boots and armor, and was wearing a pair of sleep pants and a t-shirt. His bare feet clinked on the wooden floors as he walked over to the couch. He tried handing you the mug, but ended up having to hold it for a few moments while you wrestled your way from your blanket prison. You took the mug and thanked him quietly. You gestured for him to sit with you and he politely sat down, the opposite of how Sans usually plops down.

You offer him some blanket, and it took a few seconds of finagling to get both of you wrapped up securely. In the chaos, most of the heat escaped from the blankets, and you began to shiver slightly. The mug definitely helped warm your fingers, but you could feel your nose turning red.

"Hey Pap. How long until the heat kicks on?" He looks down at you and give a quiet _nyeh heh._

"I would allow it five more minutes until you can start feeling the difference." He noticed your grimace and gave his signature laugh once again. He leaned down and placed his smile on your nose in what you've come to know as a skele-kiss. Immediately your nose began to warm up and you giggled. He pulled back and grinned goofily at you.

"Better Human?" You nod and smile.

"Much. Thanks Pap." He hummed a "you're welcome" and continued to watch the snow with you. Although the silence wasn't uncomfortable, you could tell he wanted to say something. "What's up Papyrus?"

"Hmm?" You caught him off guard, and you had to repeat yourself.

"Nothing to worry yourself about dear Human. I was simply thinking."

"That's dangerous you know, thinking." You feel rather than hear him chuckle at your joke.

"You've been spending too much time with my Brother."

"Maybe he's been spending too much time with me?" Papyrus scoffed at the thought.

"That would be a good influence on him! Maybe you can kick that Lazy Bones into shape. He's always falling asleep at his post. He's probably asleep right now." You wanted to defend Sans, but you knew Pap was right. You could imagine the snow piling up on his shoulder already.

"Maybe we should have him spend some time with Undyne."

"THAT'S A SENSATIONAL IDEA DEAR HUMAN!" Pap took his long arms out from under the blankets and wrapped them around you. You laughed at his eagerness and cringed a little inside for what poor Sans was going to have to live through. You realized he hadn't told you what he had been thinking about.

"Whatcha thinking about Pap?"

"…" You twisted your body to face him more.

"You can tell me." He signed and looked out the window.

"I've just been... worried, Human."

"Worried about what?"

"Well, although you seem to be getting better, you still act kind of distant when you're alone. Sometime I walk into the living room or the kitchen and you're just staring at a wall, not moving. It's worrying, because it wasn't that long ago you were hurting yourself and Brother told me it could take years for you to be completely better. I'm just worried for you Human." You were shocked at how observant Papyrus was. You tried to not let your fear show, but it was slowly creeping up your spine. He'll figure you out soon enough, and you can't have them know you've began to doubt yourself again. Pap's voice continued, calling you from your thoughts. "Also, Brother has been acting strange as well, which is concerning because he's usually too lazy to act any differently."

"Don't worry about me or Sans. If anything, you should be worrying about yourself." He gave you a confused puppy-dog look before you pounced. You found out fairly early on that Papyrus was extremely ticklish. Your fingers danced along his ribs and he couldn't fight back. Tears began to form as he laughed.

"S-stop h-hum-man! The G-great Pap-HA-yr-rus commAnds you!" But you showed him no mercy. You kept tickling the poor thing until you were both breathing hard. Finally sparing him, you both fell back onto the couch. You snuggled back up into the blankets that had fallen into the floor in the struggle and plopped down right next to Papyrus. You offered him some blanket and he accepted, his unusual body heat warming you immediately. You both fell asleep quickly.

* * *

Sans walked in a few hours later, after his shift. He was shivering slightly, mainly because he fell asleep again and was covered in a thick layer of fluffy snow. His jacket was soaked and coated in a fine layer of frost. He walked right past the couch, not noticing two lumps huddled there. Heading upstairs, Sans stripped and plopped his wet clothes on the floor, deciding it would be easier to deal with the mess tomorrow.

He changed into a pair of ratty sweat pants, slippers and a black pullover hoodie. Finally dry and warm, Sans headed downstairs. He noticed the heat was up and checked the dial. Pap must have turned it up. He heard a huff from behind him, alerting him.

He peered over the edge and saw you and Papyrus snoozing peacefully. Pap's arm was wrapped around your shoulders, his head resting on yours, your head resting on his shoulder. Sans smiled warmly, glad to see the light upturn of your sleeping lips. He went around the front of the couch and wiggled his butt into the space between you and the end of the couch. Flipping the corner of the blanket over his knees, he wrapped an arm around your waist and fell asleep himself.

* * *

 **Alrighty then. This is way short compared to the other ones, but someone asked for Pap/reader. I love writing fluff, but don't worry. I set up at least two emotional chapters already. I was truly stumped on ideas, but suddenly thought of a few last night before I went to sleep, so this story will be emotional once again!**

 **I'm so amazed at how much feedback I'm getting. Before it was "** ** _Wowie! Three whole reviews on one chapter? I must be the most popular person!"_** **and this morning I woke up to almost ten reviews, just overnight. I'm beyond shocked.**

 **Someone asked about the age of the reader, and to be honest I'm not really sure. I've tried hard to keep away from specific details about "you" so it could apply to anyone. I don't mention any gender or drink preference or anything. When I started writing this, I just thought of the reader as "older". To me, Frisk was probably around 12 when they fell into the underground, but that's my opinion. The journey probably took a while, and this takes place several months to a few years after** ** _that_** **, so I'd say the reader is in their mid-teens? I dunno, you pick an age.**

 **It was also brought to my attention that I skipped the whole Waterfall area of the game. I honestly have no excuse. I just honestly forgot about it. My bad? Sorry about that.**

 **I have classes for the next four days, so I don't know how soon I'll be able to update again, but it'll hopefully be within a few days.**

 **As always, if you have any chapter ideas, throw me a bone! ;)**

 **Y'all are really so amazing. I don't know what I would do without your support.**

 **Until next time**

 **~Starlight**


	7. Chapter 7

It was your little secret. You'll never tell anyone, especially not Sans and Pap. You gave a grim smile as you bandaged your hip once again. It was the third time this week. You wouldn't say you've befriended the voice in your head, but you listen to it more.

Sans called to you through your bedroom door, which was locked, as usual. You rarely came out of your room lately, and when you did you rarely talked to anyone. It was just too much effort to make casual conversation. You became fluent in lies, flawlessly able to bush off everyone's concerns while lying through your teeth.

You were consumed by guilt. You felt awful for lying to the only two people who cared about you without hesitation, but you deserved it. Today, the voice decided to visit. It usually only came every few days, but it decided to be more…friendly this week. You were sitting on your bed, too tired to actually get up, when it spoke to you.

 _How could you? Look at you… causing them to worry about you. What an ungrateful brat._ You covered your ears, trying to block out the insults, but it was no use.

 _You're worthless. All you do is waste their time and their money. You do nothing but lay around and sulk like the little bitch you are._

A loud knock came from your door. It was Sans, asking if you wanted to go to Grillby's with him. You turned down the last three offers, and maybe he expected you to say no, because this time he didn't try to convince you.

 _See? He's giving up on you. He's finally seen what a worthless waste of space you are._ You roll off your bed and reached under the mattress. Sans and Papyrus took your knife and put all the kitchen knives up high where you couldn't reach. Thankfully, you were very resourceful. You managed to separate the blade from your pencil sharpener. It was small enough that no none would notice it, but sharp enough to do its job.

You reached under your mattress and removed an envelope. It was a letter from Toriel, but you placed the letter in a safe place, keeping the envelope for this purpose. You undo the flap and turn the envelope upside down. Shaking it, the small silver object tumbled out, landing on your carpet. You pick the blade up with two fingers and pulled your shorts down, exposing your hip. It had been clear, for the most part. It never received as much abuse as your leg.

The original scars were gone, but you never would have been able to tell with the sheer amount of the lacerations covering your skin now. You didn't have any bandages, but the newest cuts from two nights ago.

Holding the blade to your hip, you let a tear run down your face. You let the voice take over as you drew line after line.

 _You're worthless._

 _They hate you._

 _They know what you are._

 _You don't deserve love._ You agreed with the voice. The last clear spot of skin was now covered in straight lines, but it wasn't enough. You began making diagonal cuts, opening up old scars, pulling the skin a little to make the blood come out faster.

You didn't feel light headed yet, but the dull throbbing of your hip calmed the storm in your chest. You let the tears run, wincing as they dripped into the pool of crimson. You reached back under the bed and pulled out a small box. Growling, you realized you were out of the gauze pads. Thank goodness you were resourceful.

You pulled the roll of toilet paper from the box and began mopping up the crimson. It took a fair amount of toilet paper, but by the time you were finished, most of the bleeding had stopped. You ripped off more and folded it over. You ripped several strips of medical tape and began taping the toilet paper to the many cuts. By the time you were finished, the fatigue had finally caught up with you, but you couldn't sleep yet.

Gathering up the bloody toilet paper, you poked your head out of the door, checking to make sure the coast was clear. Convinced there was no one, you sprinted to the bathroom. Closing the door behind you, you locked it and dropped the evidence in the toilet. You dropped one on the floor, and when you picked it up, there was a red smudge on the tiles.

Grimacing, you wiped it up and threw the wadded tissues into the toilet with the rest of the toilet paper. Flushing the toilet, you watched mesmerized as the red swirled round and round. You didn't notice the smear of scarlet on the white porcelain.

Slumping back to your room, you threw yourself into your bed and pulled the covers over your head. You fell asleep quickly, haunted by several yelling voices.

* * *

"Brother, I'm starting to get really worried about the Human. We haven't had dinner together in days, and I had to cancel our cooking lessons twice." Sans placed a hand on his brother's arm.

"Yeah, I'm starting to worry about the kid too. I've been stood up four times for Grillby's." They exchanged looks, and Papyrus began chewing on his fingers nervously. Sans batted his hand away like he did when they were children.

"What can we do, Brother?" Sans gave a sad shrug. He honestly had no clue what was wrong, so he had no clue how to fix it. "It's like that first month all over again."

Sans tensed, realizing his brother was right. You've regressed back to what you were when you first came to Snowdin. He signed and ran a hand over his skull. Leaving the kitchen, Sans walked up to the bathroom. He splashed some cold water on his face, and went to dry it on the towel. As he opened his eyes, he saw something he wished wasn't what he knew it was.

Crouching by the toilet, he leaned in to inspect the brownish smear. He cursed under his breath and ran downstairs to get Papyrus. He couldn't do this alone again.

"Pap, we have a problem. There was blood on the toilet." Papyrus stopped what he was doing and almost dropped the bowl he was about to put away. Sans could see his brother's hands shaking and felt his stomach drop to the floor.

"We must find the human immediately." They raced up the stairs, both skipping steps as the bounded to the top. They made it to your room at the same time, but it was Sans that had the courage to open your door. They expected to see something close to the bathroom after that first incident, but were shocked to see you sleeping peacefully in your bed.

Papyrus relaxed some, letting out a breath of air, but Sans wasn't put at ease in the slightest. He crept over to the bed and gently sat on the edge. He shook your shoulder gently, trying to see if he could feel any bandages. He wanted to be relieved when he felt only skin under your shirt, but the feeling of dread would not pass.

"Hey Kid. Wake up would ya?" You stir faintly, not ready to wake up yet. You saw Sans' grin and smiled back, but quickly realized how serious of a grin it really was.

"What's wrong?" You weren't worth enough to ask him question. You wince at the thought, and it doesn't escape the chubby skeleton's notice.

"A few things actually. Would you mind giving me your arm for a sec?" You were expecting this, at some point. Before your scars were healed, he would do random checks to see if you had hurt yourself again. You were always filled with determination when he would beam at you with genuine pride.

You comply, throwing your blanket aside and handing him your wrist. He pulls up your sleeve, and you shiver as you feel his boney fingers trail up your arm. There was nothing for him to find, so there was nothing for you to be afraid of. So why was your heart beating so fast? Sans seemed convinced you were fine when he pulled your sleeve back down. He pulled the blanket back over your lap, brushing his hand along your thigh, another bandage check.

You were in the home stretch, you knew it. There was no way he'd find anything. Papyrus had been standing at the door, watching your face pale and you become extremely nervous, which made him even more worried. He remembered the other place you had placed those awful injuries and suddenly had the desperate urge to check.

"Human, may The Great Papyrus have a hug?" You were surprised at his request, but stood anyway, wanting him to think everything was fine. As you stood, you missed the look shared between the two brothers. You walked over to him and reached your arms up to give him a hug, your shirt riding up a little bit. He wrapped his arms around your middle, his bare hands not feeling any bandages either.

Just as you were about to let go, Sans noticed something white sticking up from the waist band of your sleep pants.

"Hey Kiddo? What's that on your hip?" You froze, arms halfway around papyrus. You quickly tried to pull away, but found the taller skeleton had an iron hold on you. It wasn't painful, of course, but the thought of being found out made your heart beat twice as fast.

"W-what do you mean?" They were onto you, and you couldn't think fast enough to come up with a good excuse. Sans walked over to you and Pap, pulling the side of your shirt up to show the corner of the bandage that was peeking out from your waist band.

"What's this here?" You looked over Pap's shoulder, still not able to pull away.

"An accident…" Even to you that sounded fake. Despite not having eyebrows, Sans' face was very descriptive with emotion. You could easily tell he wasn't buying it.

"Come on Kiddo. It's no use lying to us." You struggle against Papyrus, your actions getting more and more frantic the more Sans tugged your waist band down. When the makeshift bandage was completely expose, you stopped struggling. What was the point? They saw your secret.

You collapsed, letting Papyrus hold up your weight. You started shaking violently, sobbing hysterically. You finally broke.

 _You fucked up. They'll never forgive you. They'll never be able to look at you again. They're going to kick you out of the house. You'll be living on the streets. You'll be alone forever. All because you were found out. You weren't even worth enough to keep a secret for a few weeks. You're pathetic. You're worthless. You're-_

"KID!" Sans was shaking your shoulders, trying to get your attention. You removed your hands from your head. When did they get there? "Kid are you listening?"

You nod your head pathetically, just praying this whole thing will be over soon.

"Are you okay?" You nod again. "You're lying again. You just started crying and breathing heavily and screaming. That's obviously not okay."

"'m fine."

"Human…."

"It's nothing"

"Kid…"

"It's not that bad."

"….."

"I deserve it." That was all they needed to hear. Sans walked over, his eye sockets black. He reached a boney hand out and ripped the bandage off. You yelped as the tape ripped at your sin and the toilet paper pulled on the dried blood. The sudden removal caused some of the deeper cuts to reopen and you could feel the pain flare up again.

The room was dead silent. Your sniffles seemed to echo against the walls. You could hear your heart beat, and wondered faintly if they could hear it too.

"I've got a _bone_ to pick with you, kid." His voice was chilly, and you suddenly were afraid of what he was going to do. Maybe he really would kick you out. It would be what you deserve. You close your eyes tight and wait for something, anything. You heard him come closer and tensed.

You felt strong, warm arms wrap around your shoulders, pinning your arms to your side. It was slightly painful, but it wasn't uncomfortable. Sans began shaking and you felt your shoulder grow moist, but there was no sound coming from him. Another pair of arms wrapped gently around your waist, but you stayed tense.

"Are you having nightmares again dear Human?" You shook your head slightly. "Then what caused you to do this?"

"The voice…" The brothers pulled back and looked at each other.

"Kiddo, what are you talking about?" You sniffled again.

"There's a voice… in my head…. It tells me things." Papyrus gasped and whispered something under his breath that sounded kind of like a name, but you couldn't make it out. Sans guided you over to the bed and sat you down. He kneeled in front of you, Pap taking the space on the bed next to you.

"What does this voice tell you?" You didn't want to tell him. It was your secret. He would hate you if he found out.

"It tells me that I'm a waste of space. That I'm a burden on you guys. That if you ever found out…" Your words caught in your throat. Sans placed a hand on your knee to calm you and to hopefully get you to continue. "If you found out, that you would hate me. You'd kick me out of the house. You'd leave me all alone, because I was pathetic."

Tears had begun to fall down your face again, all of your awful thoughts spewing from your mouth at once. Hearing them out loud just solidified how true they were. Sans placed his forehead on your knees, and you were afraid he agreed with you.

You could feel the knees of your sleep pants become damp. _You made him cry. How dare you hurt him? This is all your fault!_

"We will never allow you to be alone Human." Papyrus wrapped one arms around you and pulled you close to his chest. Sans lifted his head, faint blue trails going down his cheek bones. "As long as you are here with us, you will never be alone. You will be bathed in a shower of kisses every morning and every evening!"

Sans, still kneeling in front of you, laid his head on your lap and wrapped his arms around your waist.

"You're so amazing. You're funny and sweet. You have a heart of gold. We haven't been happier since you moved in with us. You're worth our love. You're worth it." It hurt to hear. It hurt to try to believe him.

You wanted to believe him. It was Sans and Papyrus. Why would they lie to you? But you couldn't believe them. They must be wrong. How could the voice in your own head be wrong about yourself?

"Stop… stop lying to me…."

"I promise you kid. I'll never lie to you. Cross my heart and hope to die." Papyrus stood and left the room. You felt your heart skip a beat. He must hate you now. He came back a few seconds later with a pad of gauze and some tape. He waited for you to lean over to the other side so he could cover the tender cuts on your hip.

"Do you hate me?" His hands jerked as he tried to place the gauze, causing you to hiss a little.

"There is nothing you could ever do that could ever make us hate you."

"There's a few things I can think of…" _You're a killer. You're a pathetic killer._ "Shut up!"

Sans and Papyrus pulled back slightly, trying to figure out who you were yelling at.

"Was it the voice again?" Sans brushed your hair from your face behind your ear. You nod, scrunching your eyes shut tight, willing the voice to shut up for once. "What did it say to you this time?"  
"You're a killer. You're a pathetic killer." You voice was weak, you lost your fight.

"Look at me kid." You were looking everywhere but the two brothers. Sans took your face in his hand and forced you to look at him. "That voice is lying to you. That voice is making you think bad thoughts that aren't true. Do you understand me?"

"It's true though."

"It's not true."

"IT IS!" A sharp pain radiated from your cheek. You placed your hand on your face, your cold fingers cooling the sting a little. Did he just…? Sans' hand was still raise slightly, as if he was shocked he actually slap you as much as you and Papyrus were.

"Shut up and listen to me. That _voice_ ," He spit the word out like a curse. "Is making you hate yourself. It's lying to you to make you despise yourself. Do you hate yourself?"

You hesitate, honestly thinking, and nod. His grin tightened.

"You shouldn't hate yourself. You're so amazing. It kills me to see you like this…" He fell back and sat on the ground. He crossed his legs and buried his head in his hands. He took a deep breath and stood, walking over to the bed where you and Papyrus were still sitting. He sat on your other side, one leg bent, the other straight over the edge.

"Let me tell you a story kid." He took a deep breath and glanced over to his brother before beginning.

"Once upon a time, there was a little skeleton. He was small, but he was smart and strong. He wanted nothing more than to make friends, but people thought he was too small to talk to." You had a feeling this wasn't about just any random skeleton. "One day, the big kids pushed the little skeleton over. He hurt his leg, and the big kids laughed at him.

"He came home to his brother, crying and in pain. His brother sat him down and patched up his leg. He wiped his brother's tears. Then he heard something that made him want to cry too. The little skeleton told the older brother he didn't want to go outside anymore. The little skeleton told the older brother that no one would ever love him, that he was completely unlikable.

"The older brother felt his heart break, because his little brother was the sweetest little skeleton in the whole Underground. He could light up room with a single smile. He brought joy to the lives of everyone he talked to, but he doubted himself.

"For two weeks, the small skeleton refused to leave the house. He barely ate, barely talked. The older brother became very scared for his little brother. After the fifteenth day, the older brother pulled the small skeleton aside and sat him down. The older brother made the small skeleton list all the things he didn't like about himself.

"It took five whole minutes for the small skeleton to list everything. 'I'm too small.' 'I'm too loud.' 'I'm not strong enough.' 'No one will love such a sad bag of bones.' It hurt the older brother, because the small skeleton was the light of his life. He loved his little brother more than anything in the whole world, and now his little brother was hurting.

"The older brother sat next to the small skeleton and gave him a big hug. He told the little skeleton everything he loved about him. He was sweet. His smile could make anyone happy. His laugh was infectious. The older brother told him all of the things that everyone else loved about him. Why he was so fantastic, why he deserved to be loved." Sans had pulled you into a hug during his story. "The older brother refused to let the small skeleton leave until he understood how loved he was."

Finally, Sans fell silent. Papyrus hadn't made a sound since the story started, but out of the corner of your eye you saw him lift a hand to wipe his face. Sans pulled his jacket sleeve over his hand and wiped your face, drying it the best he could.

"Do you understand Kiddo? You're just like the little skeleton. You don't think you're worth much, but everyone around you loves you so much. We love you kid. Don't let any dumb voice tell you anything different." You nod, crying again. Sans chuckled quietly and wiped your face again.

"Thank you Sans. Thank you Papyrus. I… I don't know what I would have done without you guys." You shuddered, thinking of what you might have ended up doing. Sans held his hand out, and you knew he didn't want to hold your own hand. Head hanging low, you went to the other side of your mattress and pull out the envelope. You handed it to him, and he quickly glanced in, bones whitening slightly. He folded it in half and tucked it into his pocket.

"You looked worn to the bone kiddo. Why don't you take a nap, and we'll have dinner hot and ready for when you wake up." You nod for seemed like the hundredth time this evening and kissed Sans on the cheek. You stood on your bed and kissed Pap on his cheek as well. Both Skeleton's faces glowed a slight tinted blue and orange respectively.

They left, and you curled up under your blanket. The voice came back, but you ignored it. You weren't sure how long you were going to be able to ignore it, but you didn't want to think about the future. For now, you'd be able to sleep comfortably.

* * *

Sans and Papyrus were in the kitchen, talking quietly as they moved about, mixing and chopping and stirring.

"Thank you brother."

"What for Pap?" Papyrus slowed his stirring.

"For reminding me of that story." Sans grinned lovingly and patted his brother on the shoulder.

"Anything for you brother."

"Anything?" Sans got a flash of unease.

"Of course Pap. You're my brother. I'd die for you." Papyrus flinched, but refused to look Sans in the eye.

"Would you tell me anything? Even if it's something you wouldn't tell anyone else?" The feeling of unease increased.

"What's this about Papyrus?"

"What happened to your ribs brother?" Sans stopped dead. "Brother please tell me."

"There was a scuffle on patrol. It was just a little bump. Don't worry about it bro."

"…" Sans tried to lighten the atmosphere by throwing a blob of dough at the back of Pap's head. It stuck dead center, but Papyrus didn't seem amused.

"Seriously bro. You need to lighten up." Sans walked over to Papyrus and handed him something. Looking down at his hand, Papyrus saw a light bulb between his fingers. "You're smiling."

"I know and I hate it." His tone wasn't bitter, it was reluctant. Papyrus knew something was up, but he knew his brother. He knew how stubborn his brother could be when he wanted to be, almost as stubborn as the Human.

"Love ya bro."  
"I love you too brother." But this wasn't over.

* * *

 **This is what everyone has been waiting for! I ended up waking up early this morning so I finished this. I have two more chaptered in mind, as well as an alternate ending to the first chapter. This should have three more chapters, two to wrap it up and one as the alternate ending.**

 **I definitely want to keep writing for this fandom, so keep an eye out for new stuff from me.**

 **I know this might seem choppy, with the italic thoughts and stuff, but that's kind of how my mind works. I tried to make it as clear as possible, but I may have failed miserably.**

 **Until next time**

 **~Starlight**


	8. Final

You felt the blood dripping from your arm. You used your good hand to grab your shoulder, trying to stem the bleeding, but it was no use. The attacks just kept coming. It all happened so fast. How had it all gone so wrong, so fast?

* * *

You were sitting on the counter of Sans' sentry post. You took to the habit of following him to work every so often, more to your own amusement than his, but that was debatable. You were kicking your legs, letting your heels hit the booth rhythmically. Sans was behind the booth, singing some song, making up new lyrics in time with your kicking.

Just as he was about to start a new verse, you hear screaming coming from down the path. Instantly, you were both up and at the ready. You stood side by side as you waited tensely for whatever caused the screams. Almost within the minute, you saw a figure cresting the hill. From where you were standing, it was just a shadowy figure, but as it drew closer, you were able to see its features. It was another human.

Your first instinct was joy. You weren't the only human in the underground anymore! But then you saw their face. They were obviously male, with a strong jaw bone and a long nose. He was splattered head to toe in colorful liquids and had a thick layer of ash covering his hair and shoulders. In his hand was a knife, similar to the one you arrived with.

As soon as he saw you, his eyes widened gleefully and he sprinted at you. Sans immediately went into action, attacking the new human, throwing their soul around like it was nothing. The human was strong though. He resisted Sans' attacks with ease. You ran behind the booth and picked up the emergency phone. You were instantly connected to Undyne, the head of the guard.

"Undyne please hurry! There's another human and he's attacking Sans!"

"What? Stay hidden and be careful We'll be there as soon as we can." She hung up and you felt your stomach sink. You knew they wouldn't make it in time… You peered over the edge of the booth to watch the fight.

Sans threw the human's soul around like it was weightless, but the human attacked just as fiercely. He swiped his knife at Sans' chest, but the skeleton was able to dodge and roll towards the booth. He hissed under his breath for you to run, but you refused to leave him.

The human attacked again, nicking the side of Sans' head, causing light blue to drip steadily down into the hood of his jacket. You desperately wanted to help, but there was nothing you could do. Or was there?

You watched as Sans and the human weave and dodge each other's attacks, only landing small blows on their opponent. You heard distant rumbling, and prayed it was the royal guard coming to help. Within minutes, the human and Sans were surrounded. You stood from behind the booth and walked towards the ring.

"It'll be okay." You finally released a breath you didn't know you were holding. Then the impossible happened. In one fluid movement, the human spun in a circle, his knife catching every single guard member surrounding them. In the blink of an eye, there was nothing but dust. Papyrus and Undyne came running up, ready to attack. The human lunged and stabbed Undyne right in the chest, between her ribs. She turned to dust with a shocked expression on her face. All that was left were you, Sans, Papyrus and the human. And the dust remains if all your friends.

Papyrus made to run to his brother's aid, but you caught his wrist, pulling him aside. He realized what you meant, at least partially, for he fell back and watched the fight continuing between his brother and the new enemy.

The human spun, his knife arcing down across Sans' chest. He dodged, but not fast enough. More of his blood spewed across the human's face. Sans stumbled and fell to his knees, more tired than injured. You were done watching this.

You took the knife from the booth. It was more of a sward really, for the blade was as long as your arm. You ran towards them, ignoring Papyrus' calls. You rushed at the human, your motives solidified. He swung your knife, the slick blade catching the fabric of you shirt and ripping a whole in your shoulder. You felt the blood dripping from your arm. You used your good hand to grab your shoulder, trying to stem the bleeding, but it was no use. The attacks just kept coming.

He was ruthless. You felt a sting in your cheek and felt the blood run down your chin. You dodged, but didn't attack. You were looking for the perfect opportunity, the perfect strike. He lunged at you, and it caught your side. You fall, barely righting yourself in time to dodge the next blow.

You turned your head slightly and saw Papyrus helping Sans over to the booth, where they would be safe. Smiling grimy, you knew at least they would be okay. The human slashed across your chest. A numb burning sensation spread across your torso.

Someone cried out behind you, but you were too busy try to stay alive to see who it was. Suddenly, a lard gloved hand pulled you out of the way. You fell backwards onto the snow, the impact jarring your wounds. You stared in horror and Papyrus began to fight the human instead.

You tried to stand as Papyrus and the human circled each other, sizing each other up. The human aimed right for his face, but he was easily able to dodge. The human brought his knife down, cutting a deep gash into Pap's armor. Sans' cried out, distracting Papyrus.

The human took his chance and lunged, pushing the knife right through the heart. Papyrus stood frozen, unable to process what just happened. Neither could you, really.

You looked down at your chest, watching the knife handle bob up and down with your breathing. You hadn't thought before throwing yourself in from of the knife to save Pap. You were lucky, for when you jumped in the way, you found your perfect strike.

Your sword had slid across the human's neck with ease, almost completely severing his head from his neck. His body fell backwards, soaking the snow in a dirty red. You fell to your knees as Sans and Papyrus ran up to you. Both were worse for wear, but they were okay and that's all that mattered to you. You coughed and felt something warm trickled down your chin, mingling with the rest of the blood coating your body.

You knew you were fading away. There was nothing that could save you, but you were okay with that. What nobler a cause is there to sacrifice yourself for those you care about the most? The two skeletons were kneeling in the snow next to you, your head on Papyrus' lap.

Someone stroked your hair and another held your hand. They also knew you were beyond help, so they waited out your final moments with you.

"Thank you…" Your voice was weak, but still held determination. Papyrus wiped his eyes with one hand.

"Why are you thanking us? You're the one who was stabbed." He was desperately trying to lighten the mood, unconsciously joking.

"For taking care of me. For loving me." Sans held your hand a little tighter.

"Anything for you kid."

"Promise me something?" Both skeletons leaned in. "When I come back, please be my friend again…"

"Of course kiddo. There's nothing in the world we'd like more." But you were already gone. Papyrus held your body to him chest, crying. Part of him knew this was good, for it meant when you came back, so would all the guard and Undyne. But right now…

Sans placed a hand on his brother's shoulders. He wasn't crying. He was too numb to cry just yet. Maybe once they got home. Pap placed your body on the snow and turned to his brother, engulfing him in a crushing hug. Sans returned it just as crushingly.

The held each other as the world seems to fade around them. They had seen it before, how the colors start to run and fade like a ruined painting. Soon, the world will turn grey, then disappear…

* * *

"Is that any way to greet a new friend?" You were afraid, because the figure was still cloaked in shadows. You tried to take a step back but some invisible force kept you rooted to the ground. You felt yourself being turned around. "And shake my hand."

Your hand moved of its own accord and you prepared yourself for what was to come next.

 _Pffffttttt._

You opened your eyes in confusion. The figure had finally stepped into the light, and you finally saw what it was. It was a short little skeleton with a blue jacket and a big grin. You immediately feel safer around him, which confuses you.

"Ah, the old woopie cushion in the hand trick. Gets you every time. I'm Sans. Sans the skeleton." You give him warm smile, a feeling of acceptance filled you. His smiled grew more genuine as he saw the comfort in your face. He held his hand out again, and you took it. He pulled you into his chest into a big hug.

"Don't worry Kiddo. I'm here for you now. I'll make sure nothing bad happens to you this time."

* * *

 **So I know I said two more chapters plus the alternate ending, but three pages into chapter 8, I decided it was crap and stopped writing it. This right here is the last chapter of this story. I wrote the alternate ending before this, so I'll be updating both at almost the same time.**

 **I wish I had some long thank you end note, but this is all I have. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart. You've all been so supportive, and I have no clue how I could possibly show my appreciation fully.**

 **So, as a final farewell, please take care of yourselves. Don't let that little voice hurt you. GO out and find yourself a Sans, find someone that makes you feel safe, because it's okay to find comfort in others.**

 **Until the next time**

 **~Starlight**


	9. Alternate Ending

You ran past the shed, through the icy air. You came upon the stop you had your showdown with Papyrus at, and you caught sight of something golden. The memory of killing your friend fills you with determination.

You run faster, trying to outpace the footsteps rapidly catching up behind you. Suddenly, Sans was right in front of you. You barely managed to slip under his arm. You continued to run, dodging the branches and rocks and Sans when he popped up in your way.

After five minutes of this chase, you felt your lungs begin to cry out. You knew you needed to find a place to do this, and now. You saw a small opening in the trees and drove for it. You rolled under one of the bushes and watched as Sans appeared in the clearing in front if you. He searched around frantically, calling your name. Your chest clenched at the pain in his voice, but this was for the best. You were absolutely certain.

Sans left, and you could still hear his voice in the distance, getting more and more hysterical. You wiggled our way out from under the bush, not bothering to brush the dirt off the front of your sweater. It was going to be ruined in a second anyway. You made your way to the center of the clearing and knelt in the snow. You gave yourself a few minutes to admire how the snow hung to the branches, and how the light created little rainbows on the white ground.

Smiling, you took in your surroundings for the last time. If you had to pick, you wouldn't have chosen to have anything else to see for the last time. It was simply beautiful. A small smile graced your lips as you held the knife out. You let the light glint off the blade, playing with the glare on the snow, watching the spot of light dance about.

You strained to hear Sans, but was relieved to hear nothing but the falling snow. Taking a deep breath, you prepared yourself. It was finally time.

You grasp the handle with both hands and place the tip of the blade on your stomach before raising it up above your head. As the blade arced down, it was as if time slowed. You saw something move out of the corner of your eye. Sans was running towards you, his irises almost nonexistent. You saw him reach a hand out, but it was hair's breadth too late.

The knife slid into your stomach with ease, Sans' hand flying past the handle as it disappeared into your chest. You felt a surge of pain like you've never felt before. You felt cold hands on your face, in your hair, on your arms, but all you could hear was static. You felt the blood dripping from your stomach, and knew Sans would try to save you if you didn't finish the job.

With the last of your strength, you ripped the blade out of your stomach, letting your hands fall limp at your sides as the blood began to gush out, creating a ring of death around you. You vaguely heard Sans let out a scream, but you couldn't find a reason to care. You were so tired. You just wanted to take a nice long nap.

You felt pressure on your stomach. It took so much effort just to open your eyes, but you had to tell him something important. He was devastated, blood staining his skull and jacket.

"Stay with me kid. Oh god stay with me." He had hot blobs falling from your eyes, cleaning streaks down his snow white bones. You distantly heard yelling in the distance, or maybe it was right next to you. The roaring was too loud.

"Sans…" You're voice was barely a whisper. It hurt to talk. It hurt to think. It hurt to breath. "I'm… not going to reset." A

All emotions drained from Sans' face. All the fear and sorrow and pain, gone.

"No…no you can't leave us!" But it was too late. You tried to give him one last smile, but you weren't sure it actually made it to your lips. You coughed, and you tasted something metallic on your tongue. This was it, you knew it

"I'm sorry…." Your last thought was he deserved that much. Your vision blackened, and you were suddenly falling.

" ** _NO!"_**

* * *

 ** _YOU HAVE DIED. RESET?_**

 ** _..._**

 ** _NO._**

* * *

 **This is going to be the last chapter I'm going to post for Afterthought. It was fun while it lasted, and it really helped me get my thoughts and feelings out safely. Thank you everyone for the support. It really helped me stay safe.**

 **This was written at the end of a very, very bad day. I'm not sure if the emotions came through, but it really kept me from doing anything dumb.**

 **Although this adventure is over, antoher is always around the corner.**

 **Until next time…**

 **~Starlight**


End file.
